Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
