I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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