So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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