Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
