so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
