Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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