I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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