i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You're a waste of cheezeits
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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