this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
