She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
