Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the day after is always just damage control
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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