My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
