Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
