Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
