Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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