this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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