The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
