So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
