can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
