I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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