I wish I could punch you in the face.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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