i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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