I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
