I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
