i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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