pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
