that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
