It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
