We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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