Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
