No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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