"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
