I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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