White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
