You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
