if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
