We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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