I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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