Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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