He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
