you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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