I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i believe in u and ur pee
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
