Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
