Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
