She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's just like the Real World with babies
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
