we made out on top of his cat.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
