idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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