guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
