rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
