Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
