Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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