no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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