in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
